I wrote about the fascinating concept of symbiosis in nature a while ago. One type of symbiosis is mutualism, which is when a relationship is formed among diverse species in which they work together so that both species benefit from the relationship. It is fascinating to consider how nature has figured out how to deal with differences and work together. That is why two completely different species–a bird and a buffalo or a shark and a fish– can overcome their differences and create mutually beneficial outcomes. This makes me wonder if completely different animals can figure out how to work together, humans can also figure it out.
Navigating interpersonal relationships, especially with those who think differently, is tricky. Successful interpersonal relationships lie primarily in our ability to listen to others. Careful listening is challenging for many people because we were expected to listen (how many times did we hear someone tell us to listen up?) but never were taught how to listen.
You may be thinking at this point that listening is not essential to successful relationships because you’ve been able to manage so far. And that may be true. However, conflict is ramping up in our nation, communities, and work environments. So, figuring out how to deal with others, especially those different from us, is crucial.
When We Listen, Our Brain Waves are More in Sync.
In her book, You’re Not Listening, Kate Murphy explains how research has proven that couples who are better listeners experience an overlap in brain activity, which she describes as “brain sync.” Similarly, those who listen to each other are more likely to mirror each other’s gestures and body postures, further aligning them. Dyads who manage to achieve this “brain sync” are better communicators. Listening also helps understands another person’s mindset, which encourages cooperation. Thus, listening is the first step in forming successful interpersonal relationships.
Sharing similar thought processes doesn’t mean we never have different opinions or ideas. It means that the more we listen to a person, the easier it is to find common ground and reach an agreement when working toward a goal. This is important, given that conflict often stems from incompatible goals. Thus, the better listeners we are, the more likely we are to manage interpersonal challenges.